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by "BucketHat" Bobby Matheson

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released November 16, 2009

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"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson Halifax, Nova Scotia

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Track Name: 139. Mr. Genuine Hissfurther, a Declarationist
Gather 'round mole-man lasses and mole-man lads as well.
Come to me and stories of my History I will tell.
Genuine Hissfurther is the name by which I'm known,
and I'll tell you of the governments that I have overthrown.

Declarations are my profession,
Separating states is my obsession.
If you've a church mixed with a state,
well, it's my job to separate 'em.

Many years ago, I met a name of Jefferson
For a human, he had big ideas, although he was still young.
This lanky human kid could never speak our native tounge,
but I could tell by his face that he was writing a declaration.

ANd he wrote, he wrote
many notes and many charts.
I knew he wouldn't get no-where
until I did my part.

He tried, He tried
but it was doomed before the start.
That awkward human kid was bound
to break my mole-man heart.

As a mole-man child I had my head in the topsoil,
I dreamed to bring the waters of revolution to a boil.
And Jefferson reminded me of myself at his age,
so I handed him a pen and I tore out a fresh page.

I said "Hey Tommy boy, don't get so down in the dumps.
If you want to start a revolution, you gotta take some lumps.
You see, down underground, we do this nearly every day.
What you need is a mentor, and I'll show you the way."

ANd we wrote, we wrote
many charts and many notes
Jefferson was riding on the tail
Of my worm-silk coat.

We tried, We tried
but it was doomed before the start.
That crazy human kid was bound
to break my mole-man heart.

So it was now my task to show young jefferson the way
to emancipate the slaves, to separate church and state
we spent countless hours penning independance down
and when we'd finished, Tommy'd take 'er into town.

We rode my noble dirt-puma up to that fateful spot.
I left it up to Tommy, to tell them what was what.
When he returned, he told me that they'd made a little change.
It all went well, except for the part about freeing the slaves.

ANd we wrote, we wrote
many charts and many notes
Jefferson was riding on the tail
Of my worm-silk coat.

We tried, We tried
but it was doomed before the start.
That crazy human kid was bound
to break my mole-man heart.

To say the least, I was let down, removed my powdered wig.
I threw it to the ground, and I began to start my dig.
Tommy tried to follow, he said "Please, sir, don't leave"
I cried a single tear, and burrowed underground to grieve.

We tried, We tried
but it was doomed before the start.
That crazy human kid was bound
to break my mole-man heart.

We tried, We tried
but it was doomed before the start.
That crazy human kid was bound
to break my mole-man heart.
Track Name: Problems
You're really hungry, but you don't wanna cook.
You don't like to read, but you can't find the audiobook.
You want a drink right now, but the soda's all been shook. (Shaken)

It's sad but it's true.
First world problems hurt me and you.

You've made too much money, now you gotta pay some tax
Can't stay unemployed long enough to relax.
You need to spend some cash, because you've filled the burlap sacks.

It may seem trivial to you,
But first world problems are problems, too.

Can't pay for the phone. Can't pay for the heat.
Gotta choose between paying rent or getting food to eat.
It's happening in your neighborhood, maybe even on your street.

It's a sad fact but it's true.
These kind of problems are first-world problems, too.
Track Name: YTCWGWCT
See them glide across the ice with such speed and precision,
Making me hug closer to my television.
Clenching my teeth in excitement and shock
As they determine the final destination of the rock

The sweeping slows to a stop,
And everybody screams
For the Yukon Territories' Canada Winter Games
Women's Curling Team.

The skip lurches forward, all weight on her slider,
She sends the rock into a roll when it raises a biter.
The opponent throws it heavy, so it takes out the guard.
But the Yukon has the hammer, and they're gonna hurry hard.

When the hammer falls into place
Everybody screams
for the Yukon Territories' Canada Winter Games
Women's Curling Team.

the Yukon Territories' Canada Winter Games
Women's Curling Team.
Track Name: Knock It Off!
Now everyone's entitled to their opinion
But some are REALLY entitled... To a LOT.
Some people get intrusive about the things that they believe in.
And get righteous and uptight when you do not.

I'm not a man with very strong convictions
Life is far too short to waste with silly fights.
No matter how you try to argue to your opposition
about your position, you won't convince him that you're right.

Everyone, stop fighting everyone.
Life's too complex to think in black and white
Everyone, stop fighting everyone
'Cause chances are, neither of you are right.

Everybody's got some kind of preference.
But what's right for one, might not be right for the rest.
and both sides of every argument have smaller sides to be referenced,
And who are you to say that your way is the best?

SO, atheists, stop picking on the Christians.
And Christians, stop fighting amongst yourselves.
"The Jews" don't get offended when you wish them "Merry Christmas",
So everyone, please stop fighting everyone else.

Everyone, stop fighting everyone.
Life's too complex to think in black and white
Everyone, stop fighting everyone
'Cause chances are, neither of you are right.
Track Name: Back From Hell
You thought you could get rid of me
So god-damned easily,
I just can't get it through your head.

I'll walk this world forever,
bound by vengeance, bound by leather,
my hate remains, although my body's dead.

So live while you're alive,
Say all your goodbyes,
This is only my
reminder lullaby

Just so you can dwell,
'Till I get back from hell.

Go on and scream.
This ain't no dream
Or do you have to be reminded?

This ain't no joke
I don't blow smoke,
unless there's dynamite behind it.

So be afraid,
The plans are laid.
Until I've made sure
the favor's been repaid,

I hope that you stay well,
'Till I get back from hell.

So come, my dear, you've got everything to fear
what does it take to make you see your fate's already clear?
If you could hear what we were planning down here,
that little smile you're wearing ear-to-ear will surely disappear.

And so, My foe,
your time to go,
is closer than you understand.

It's come to this;
my nemesis.
with his own blood upon his hands.

fight if you choose,
but there's no use
'Cause I got nothing to lose,
and I'll come back in newer shoes.

And only time will tell,
when I'll come back from hell.
When I come back from hell.
Track Name: Free To Be Me
Finding a way in the world,
hoping that, someday, I'll get the girl,
and the job and the fame I've always felt I was owed.

Worked all my life to carve a space,
that fits my form, to have a place,
where I could be praised for reaping the seeds I've sowed

But for the first time,
that's not my concern.
I'm resolved to know,
I'm never getting my turn.

I was appealing to my vanity,
But now, I think, I finally see.
For the first time, I'm free to just be me,

I had a dream, and chased it,
but all that time was wasted.
And now I leave it behind to start from scratch.

But I didn't quit, I fought.
It was never quite what I thought.
No matter how hard I tried, I can't make a match.

But for the first time,
I don't even care.
I've spent enough time,
just pulling out my hair.

I was appealing to my vanity,
But now, I think, I finally see.
For the first time, I'm free to just be me,

Yeah, for the first time,
I'm not even concerned.
I'm resolved to know,
I'm never getting my turn.

I was appealing to my vanity,
But now, I think, I finally see.
For the first time, I'm free to just be me,
Track Name: Ode To Internet Explorer
Sometimes I long for days long gone, when I was younger.
Outdated methods and nostalgia, for these I hunger.
Staying up late,
refreshing all night.
Trying to update
my Piczo site.

And I'll admit, I'ts a bit masochistic,
and my friends look on in horror
when I choose to use Internet Explorer.

Sometimes I find it won't work all the time, but I still use it.
I'll empty the cache, but still it will crash, and so I lose it.
It might be slow,
It may not be Chrome,
but that bluish glow
makes me feel at home.

You say it's te worst, but it was my first, and your words don't hurt.
No, I won't be getting sorer,
'Cause I choose to use Internet Explorer.

Sometimes it will freeze, I'll fall to my knees, and give up for a while.
but before the week ends, I'll be back there again, I'll be back with a smile.
It may not be fast,
It might not be stable,
Not supported on Macs,
But if you're willing, it's able.

Haters gonna hate, but one more update might just make it great
but it's probably too late, so we'll just have to wait to see the true fate
of Internet Explorer.

And I'll admit, I'ts a bit masochistic,
and my friends look on in horror
when I choose to use Internet Explorer.